Well, there's not a whole lot to report this week. Due to getting sick, I was not able to write as much as weeks past, but I was still able to make some progress. I've now made it to page forty. The new challenge this week was the addition of a mayor character: the villainous police chief Wilber Oswald! I was able to get into a pretty good rhythm with my three main characters, and their individual voices and how they talk. I was back to square one however with a new character. Although I had done a very detailed character break down, ensuring that this character has a unique voice and that his scenes build on one another still proved to be a challenge. The basic idea that I had initially for the character was someone who has been pushed his whole life to find his passion and make a name for himself by his mother. The problem is, he is now in his 50's and still has never been able to do either of those things. As such, he is constantly whining and ever searching for his illusive passion. Where the film starts, he has had just about enough of failing to find a job or make an arrest that is grand enough for him. Consequently, he begins to fool himself into believing that the bank robbery our heroes were responsible for is much grander than the facts show. I felt these character traits would make for a very fun villain but I still was not finding an specific voice that I liked. The break through came when I was watching my favorite Television Show: Battlestar Galactica. In the show, one of the characters (Gaius Baltar) is a particularly slimy character. He is only ever looking to help himself out no matter what the cost. He lives with the terrible things that he has done through an acute ability for self deception. No matter what he's done he is able to live with it by convincing himself that he was either forced, or that he really had no control over his actions. The results are both funny and despicable. With this character in mind, I feel I have been able to find a very unique and fun voice for my villain. Until next time, good night and good luck!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Implementation
Well, this week has been about two things: continuing to move forwards with the script and implementing the notes I received from friends to earlier scripted scenes. As stated in the earlier blog, one of things I needed to work on was clarifying, to the AUDIENCE, what the different character's motivations were.
My initial plan was to slowly release that sort of information to the AUDIENCE at the same times I would be releasing it the the other CHARACTERS. Seeing now that this was not a good idea, I have given the audience a pretty clear idea right from he get go as to why the characters do what they do. With Peter (one of the story's three main characters) the thing that drives him throughout the film is his love (misguided as it is) for a woman the AUDIENCE never actual meets. To help demonstrate this, I have implemented a photograph of Peter and this woman, which he carries with him. Peter will also attempt to contact this girl by making periodic phone calls. Through the tone of these calls as well as the way Peter looks at the picture, the AUDIENCE will hopefully become quickly clued in to what is going through his brain.
With Saul (another of the story's three main characters) I had no intention of revealing, to the AUDIENCE, that he was without a family until the very end of the story. I have now established that in the second scene. This helps out for a whole host of reasons. One, you see now that he wants a family and demonstrates to the audience why he wants Peter and Stephen to remain with him. Two, it shows even clearer, to the AUDIENCE, that he is a compulsive lair ever time he claims to have a "large family." Three, the way I choose to reveal that he is without a family helps to establish another character as well. The villain, Warden Wilber Oswald, who was in need of some more despicable attributes, mocks Saul by pointing out the fact that all of his family is dead.
I also made some other changes to the Oswald as well as the relationship he holds with other characters: namely Zooey (the story's leading lady). I had been given two notes: Oswald's character is unclear and Zooey seems like a tag on character with no real connection to the story. To fix both of these problems in one sweep, I decided to make Zooey Oswald's daughter. In doing this, I made Zooey connected more deeply with the story and also gave her the ability to know and COMMENTATE on Oswald's motivation and background.
That is all for now. Good night and good luck!
My initial plan was to slowly release that sort of information to the AUDIENCE at the same times I would be releasing it the the other CHARACTERS. Seeing now that this was not a good idea, I have given the audience a pretty clear idea right from he get go as to why the characters do what they do. With Peter (one of the story's three main characters) the thing that drives him throughout the film is his love (misguided as it is) for a woman the AUDIENCE never actual meets. To help demonstrate this, I have implemented a photograph of Peter and this woman, which he carries with him. Peter will also attempt to contact this girl by making periodic phone calls. Through the tone of these calls as well as the way Peter looks at the picture, the AUDIENCE will hopefully become quickly clued in to what is going through his brain.
With Saul (another of the story's three main characters) I had no intention of revealing, to the AUDIENCE, that he was without a family until the very end of the story. I have now established that in the second scene. This helps out for a whole host of reasons. One, you see now that he wants a family and demonstrates to the audience why he wants Peter and Stephen to remain with him. Two, it shows even clearer, to the AUDIENCE, that he is a compulsive lair ever time he claims to have a "large family." Three, the way I choose to reveal that he is without a family helps to establish another character as well. The villain, Warden Wilber Oswald, who was in need of some more despicable attributes, mocks Saul by pointing out the fact that all of his family is dead.
I also made some other changes to the Oswald as well as the relationship he holds with other characters: namely Zooey (the story's leading lady). I had been given two notes: Oswald's character is unclear and Zooey seems like a tag on character with no real connection to the story. To fix both of these problems in one sweep, I decided to make Zooey Oswald's daughter. In doing this, I made Zooey connected more deeply with the story and also gave her the ability to know and COMMENTATE on Oswald's motivation and background.
That is all for now. Good night and good luck!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Summary
I decided it was time I wrote a nice, concise summary of my film. Here it is!
The comedic feature follows the crazy adventures of three cellmates who have recently been released on parole. Each of them possesses a very distinct and very crippling communication disability. One of them is a mute, the other a compulsive liar, and the third has no interest in explaining the motivation behind anything he does. The event that sets their grand adventure into motion is a bank robbery that our heroes perform. The film will then follow them on an ever escalating set of impossibly dangerous scenarios as they find themselves tangling with the Russian Mafia, attempting to communicate with dirty, Mexican cops, and evading an even dirtier American police chief named Wilber Oswald. Ultimately, they will be forced to overcome their inability to communicate with one another in order to survive.
The comedic feature follows the crazy adventures of three cellmates who have recently been released on parole. Each of them possesses a very distinct and very crippling communication disability. One of them is a mute, the other a compulsive liar, and the third has no interest in explaining the motivation behind anything he does. The event that sets their grand adventure into motion is a bank robbery that our heroes perform. The film will then follow them on an ever escalating set of impossibly dangerous scenarios as they find themselves tangling with the Russian Mafia, attempting to communicate with dirty, Mexican cops, and evading an even dirtier American police chief named Wilber Oswald. Ultimately, they will be forced to overcome their inability to communicate with one another in order to survive.
So It Begins...
Hurray! I've done it! I've begun the scripting of my still untitled comedy about communication problems. It is a very exciting feeling to actually write the very first INT. - PRISON - DAY. I have to admit that I was rather nervous about starting. All throughout the outlining process, I was questioning my ability to make this screenplay any good (especially the dialog). Fortunately for everyone, I am finding the process to come quite naturely. Granted, there is still a huge possibility that everything I am writing is absolute trash! Haha! I do however, have a good feeling about what I'm coming up with. God is good! Because I have so meticulously thought up the details surrounding the plot, my job is made a whole lot smoother. I am just zooming along, doing my best to give each of the characters their own distinct voice, making the heroes understandable and sympathetic and the villains both despicable and believable. Seeing it written down is also helping me see which parts drag, which are too fast, and which actions forward a character's personality and which contradict it. I am already on page 25 and am still very on fire for the whole thing. It's a very good feeling all around. Until next time... good night and good luck!
Notes!!!
Greetings one and all once again! Well, after finishing the outline last week, I decided it would be prudent of me to send it out to some friends of mine with a little more writing experience to get their notes. I must say, I don't always takes notes the best. I usually get down on myself if the notes are not 100% positive, but I was determined to try and learn as much as I could this time around. I got two very solid and helpful sets of notes from a couple of the people that I sent the outline out to.
The first person walked through what he thought worked and what he thought did not work (for the sake of space I will only discuss what he thought did NOT work). The primary theme of the film is communication problems and all the damage that is brought about when people lie, with hold information, or misunderstand each other. As such, the three main characters are doing these things all throughout the film until they realize the woes of their way at the end of the story. The first "note giver" informed me however, that although it is fine for the characters to lie about or withhold their motivation for doing things with EACH OTHER, the AUDIENCE should be clued in about their TRUE motivation. If this does not happen, the audience will either be confused, never connect or feel sympathy for the characters, or both. He gave me a couple practical examples of how I could help clear things up for the audience, which I put into practice. He also informed me of a couple places where character development felt a bit forced and need a little more motivation. He also pointed out a few areas that felt needlessly complicated. Although I argued that a couple of the areas needing to remain as they were, I did simplify (for the better) some of the spots.
I actually received an email from the second note giver, which I will post here.
"Hey Chris,
Thanks for letting me read your outline. You've obviously spent a great deal of time on it, and it's been really interesting to see how you're approaching this project.
My initial reactions:
- It's a very energetic, quirky, melodrama that hits the ground running and doesn't let up.
- It's also pretty difficult to follow/understand.
What I mean is:
- You've obviously given a lot of thought to the action sequences/car chases/robberies (as these are meticulously layed out, almost shot-by-shot).
- You seem to have spent less time on the characters, with swooping summaries like: "Although some of the actions our heroes have done, in the scenes above, are less than admirable, they should all be written, acted, and directed in a way to establish them as likable if not simply relatable characters."
- If you have any idea how this could be done, write it down. Actions define character, and your audience isn't going to like someone just because we want them to or because we tell an actor to act "likeable." If it's not on the page, it's not on the stage.
- As it is, I don't feel welcome to participate in the story because the characters won't open themselves up to me. I'm forced to be a spectator and make detached guesses as to why Oswald is so crazy, or how a couple of nice guys ended up in prison in the first place...
Which brings us to the question of tone:
- "able to poke fun at its own cheesiness." -- I'm fine with cheesy. Sometimes it's just unavoidable. Everything's coming together for our heroes, and we just want to relish in that over-the-top, exalted moment... But you've got to ask yourself "why?" -- What purpose does it serve to intentionally make my character's deepest desires ring inauthentic?
- If you've got a good reason, then, by all means, slather on the cheese. But if you're just doing it to avoid putting your neck out there -- dealing with real emotions -- then I'd advise against it.
- You're a very talented director - more than capable of expressing real sentiments - and I think you should. Find out who these characters really are, what they really want, and then let them try really hard to get it. If Saul steals for his "family," then make that a real, true, vulnerable dimension of his character. I assure you, your audience would much rather see that than a corny re-hash of tired, old cheese.
Conclusion:
It's a solid first draft, but it still needs work.
- Approach each character as you would if you were going to act the part -- write yourself an entire cast of great parts.
- Establish what they want, what stops them from getting it, and what they do to overcome.
- Start with broad strokes: what's the over-arching story, and where do each of your characters fit into it?
-You're off to a great start, and I look forward to seeing what comes of it."
I found all of these notes to be VERY helpful and have taken them into account.
The first person walked through what he thought worked and what he thought did not work (for the sake of space I will only discuss what he thought did NOT work). The primary theme of the film is communication problems and all the damage that is brought about when people lie, with hold information, or misunderstand each other. As such, the three main characters are doing these things all throughout the film until they realize the woes of their way at the end of the story. The first "note giver" informed me however, that although it is fine for the characters to lie about or withhold their motivation for doing things with EACH OTHER, the AUDIENCE should be clued in about their TRUE motivation. If this does not happen, the audience will either be confused, never connect or feel sympathy for the characters, or both. He gave me a couple practical examples of how I could help clear things up for the audience, which I put into practice. He also informed me of a couple places where character development felt a bit forced and need a little more motivation. He also pointed out a few areas that felt needlessly complicated. Although I argued that a couple of the areas needing to remain as they were, I did simplify (for the better) some of the spots.
I actually received an email from the second note giver, which I will post here.
"Hey Chris,
Thanks for letting me read your outline. You've obviously spent a great deal of time on it, and it's been really interesting to see how you're approaching this project.
My initial reactions:
- It's a very energetic, quirky, melodrama that hits the ground running and doesn't let up.
- It's also pretty difficult to follow/understand.
What I mean is:
- You've obviously given a lot of thought to the action sequences/car chases/robberies (as these are meticulously layed out, almost shot-by-shot).
- You seem to have spent less time on the characters, with swooping summaries like: "Although some of the actions our heroes have done, in the scenes above, are less than admirable, they should all be written, acted, and directed in a way to establish them as likable if not simply relatable characters."
- If you have any idea how this could be done, write it down. Actions define character, and your audience isn't going to like someone just because we want them to or because we tell an actor to act "likeable." If it's not on the page, it's not on the stage.
- As it is, I don't feel welcome to participate in the story because the characters won't open themselves up to me. I'm forced to be a spectator and make detached guesses as to why Oswald is so crazy, or how a couple of nice guys ended up in prison in the first place...
Which brings us to the question of tone:
- "able to poke fun at its own cheesiness." -- I'm fine with cheesy. Sometimes it's just unavoidable. Everything's coming together for our heroes, and we just want to relish in that over-the-top, exalted moment... But you've got to ask yourself "why?" -- What purpose does it serve to intentionally make my character's deepest desires ring inauthentic?
- If you've got a good reason, then, by all means, slather on the cheese. But if you're just doing it to avoid putting your neck out there -- dealing with real emotions -- then I'd advise against it.
- You're a very talented director - more than capable of expressing real sentiments - and I think you should. Find out who these characters really are, what they really want, and then let them try really hard to get it. If Saul steals for his "family," then make that a real, true, vulnerable dimension of his character. I assure you, your audience would much rather see that than a corny re-hash of tired, old cheese.
Conclusion:
It's a solid first draft, but it still needs work.
- Approach each character as you would if you were going to act the part -- write yourself an entire cast of great parts.
- Establish what they want, what stops them from getting it, and what they do to overcome.
- Start with broad strokes: what's the over-arching story, and where do each of your characters fit into it?
-You're off to a great start, and I look forward to seeing what comes of it."
I found all of these notes to be VERY helpful and have taken them into account.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Helpful Movies
I'm back! Woot! Well, I watched two films this weekend that really have nothing in common. They are actually quite the polar opposites. The films are Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures and the Seth Rogen written Pineapple Express. Despite their black and white difference in tone, subject matter, and direction I found them both to be very inspiring and containing elements that I want to incorporate into my film.
For starters, as I write I cannot help but imagine how I will directed certain scenes: how will the scene be lit, how will I move the camera, ect. Working through the outline, it became quickly apparent to me that I want a very "free" moving camera. Initially, I only intended to use this technique to keep the film moving, adding energy to each scene, but after watching Heavenly Creatures I was challenge to think deeper. The crazy, "flying around" camera from Heavenly Creatures did more than just "keep the film moving". Instead, it was really used to communicate the insanity inside the leading characters' minds. With that in mind, I decided to really use my camera to help demonstrate the difficultly that my leading character have with communicating.
For Pineapple Express I was really given a chance to see what works and what does not work in a movie very similar to the one I am trying to write. Although a large part of the humor for Pineapple Express is found in the "pot jokes" and vulgarity, and my film will have neither of those things, much of the character development and plotting have strong similarities. Newer to the whole writing of screenplays, this was very helpful. I was able to see: what kinds of humor worked and what fell flat, what character development felt forced and what felt natural, what parts of the story dragged and what parts were too quick, ect.
That's all for now friends. Until next time, good night and good luck!
For starters, as I write I cannot help but imagine how I will directed certain scenes: how will the scene be lit, how will I move the camera, ect. Working through the outline, it became quickly apparent to me that I want a very "free" moving camera. Initially, I only intended to use this technique to keep the film moving, adding energy to each scene, but after watching Heavenly Creatures I was challenge to think deeper. The crazy, "flying around" camera from Heavenly Creatures did more than just "keep the film moving". Instead, it was really used to communicate the insanity inside the leading characters' minds. With that in mind, I decided to really use my camera to help demonstrate the difficultly that my leading character have with communicating.
For Pineapple Express I was really given a chance to see what works and what does not work in a movie very similar to the one I am trying to write. Although a large part of the humor for Pineapple Express is found in the "pot jokes" and vulgarity, and my film will have neither of those things, much of the character development and plotting have strong similarities. Newer to the whole writing of screenplays, this was very helpful. I was able to see: what kinds of humor worked and what fell flat, what character development felt forced and what felt natural, what parts of the story dragged and what parts were too quick, ect.
That's all for now friends. Until next time, good night and good luck!
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